“Our struggle is to recorporealise our bodies so that they become a place we live from rather than an aspiration always needing to be achieved. We urgently need to curtail the commercial exploitation of the body and the diminution of body variety, so that we and our children can enjoy our bodies, our appetites, our physicality and sexuality. Our bodies should not be turned into sites of labour and commercially driven production. We need to be able to experience our diverse bodies, in the varied ways we decorate and move them, as a source of…pleasure and celebration. We need bodies sufficiently stable to allow us moments of bliss and adventure when, sue they exist, we can then take leave of them.”
EATING DISORDERS
I am a psychotherapist with Connected Eating.
“The body is the guarantee of consciousness, and consciousness is the instrument by which meaning is created. There would be no meaning if there were no consciousness, and since there is no consciousness without the body, there can be no meaning without the body.” Carl Jung
The complexity of untangling from the harsh, obsession of an eating disorder is a process that require multiple supports.
At Connected Eating we understand the complex relationship many people have with food. In a weight-obsessed world it is increasingly difficult to trust our bodies and eat intuitively. Our philosophy is to guide clients to connect to their bodies and develop an internal sense of trust, nourishment and self-care.
Regardless of the motivation - poor body image, an eating disorder, general health concerns or adopting a healthier lifestyle - our goal is to help clients master their own eating by listening from within rather than following an external set of rules.
Although disordered eating is not only about food, it is essential to normalize eating before anything else can heal. Without a nourished brain and body, other therapy isn’t effective. Connected eating provides a safe, professional, warm environment where recovery can happen through consistent food exposure and positive eating experiences with guidance and support.
Our team of experts follows a holistic approach, treating the person rather than a disorder and creating a personalised plan for each client based on his or her readiness.
Book an intake call at www. connectedeating.com
““Words are as, if not more, problematic for people with eating disorders than their relationship to food...finding words, in contrast to being lost, frustrated or attacked by them, suggest a capacity for communication which recognizes the presence of another and the possibility of successful projection and introjection...The tremendous struggle people with eating disorders go through, in order to find a way of relating to themselves, to others and to the world at large.” Em Farrell, Lost For Word: Psychoanalysis of Anorexia and Bulimia.”
“Dorit is the most inwardly beautiful person I know. She is always eager to help, she is kind and caring, her gentle manner is displayed in everything she does, and she focuses on the things in life that truly matter. She is godly and passionate about life. She is determined and confident. I am inspired by her even when I am simply in her presence. She is my greatest role model.
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“There are not words to express the gratitude that I feel for you. I was fortunate enough to have a lot of people in my corner and I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today without all of that support. I know not everyone is lucky enough to have that. But I wanted to drop you a line just to say thank you for everything. For all the advice and gentle guidance you gave over the years. Thank you for forcing me to come to the table and take accountability when I didn’t think I could.
Dorit, I saw a lot of different councillors. I saw more psychiatrists than any one person should have to see. You were the best of them all.
I just wanted you to know that I am in a stable and happy place. I’m getting married in the summer to the most amazing man (you’d love him)! We’re currently living in Quebec with our dog. I graduated school recently at the top of my class. I have come a really long way. I haven’t had eating disorder symptoms in years. I have come to terms with the autism spectrum disorder diagnosis and I am completely off all medication. There were days when I didn’t think I’d ever get here and I know that ultimately I did the vital internal work that I needed to do. However, I wouldn’t have been able to do that work without you and all the help you gave me. I have perspective now, and a happier life than I ever thought I’d have. And I have strategies that I learned from you that have served me very well in my relationships.
I know I was not always easy and I was stubborn. I got in my own damn way… a lot. I self sabotaged, I took two steps forward, and a step back. I was angry and frustrated and I’m sure I was probably frustrating. For that I can only say, I’m sorry.
The work you do matters and I know that it can’t be easy work to do. I have so much respect and admiration for you, and I just wanted you to know that.
So from the bottom of my heart thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.
”
Breaking up with ED
Dear ED
I have fully decided to break up with you. You came into my life at time that I needed you! You reflected, when you came into my life, how lost, confused, depressed and inadequate I felt. You gave me a purpose and daily goals. Yet you made me hate myself, and only felt tension, miserable and lost from myself. You became bigger than me and took over in your abuse. I became isolated from others and felt like I did not exist. You made me believe that thinness is the ultimate goal.
I am so scared of my emotional world. I am so scared to face myself daily. I feel so lost without you. But I do not want to live by your control anymore. I do not want to live feeling exhausted, hungry and empty all the time. This is not a life. There has to be more. I know this is a long journey back to find ME.
I will need to be mindful of all the triggers that draw me, with intensity, back into you. My body checking of my hip bones, stomach, skin under my chin and constant mirror gazing. Especially when I am tense, which is most of the time. I want to get out of my head, shouting to do ED thoughts. Stop counting calories in and calories out. Stop hating and fearing my body. My one track mind, so self oriented. My fake smile, when I am hollow and lost inside. My profound aloneness.
What do I need?
1.I need to start working with me. Accepting who I am and making a life that reflects me.
2.I know I will miss you as you helped me cope and keep functioning in my life. I know I will want to often hide back in your ED familiar thoughts and behaviours. But you are abusive to me. You don’t want me to love, thrive and find joy in life.
3.If I am feeling overwhelmed and lost, I need to find my people who I trust to support me.
4.It is ok not feel fine and to listen to my emotional world, my voice to myself.
5.Eat every meal as it is my medicine. Three meals and snacks your body needs it.
6.Be gentle with myself and don’t drive myself.
7.Be authentic in my service and care to others and say no when I need to.
8.Be curious about myself and expand my sense of self to experience my vitality, dynamism and complexity.
9.Honour myself with grace and compassion.
10.Live each day with the most presence as I can. The past and the future are not in my control or necessary for a good life. Allow myself to laugh, cry and be sad. Be my human self.
Sincerely,
Anonymous